The Woman of Proverbs 31

I enjoy reading about the woman of Proverbs 31 and pray to grow in emulating her fear of the Lord, diligence in her home, and wisdom in her affairs. It's easy to look at this portrait of a virtuous woman and decide we'll someday endeavor to mirror her as married women (this is especially easy since most of us aren't married and don't know firsthand the challenges of marriage!), but right now while we are unmarried, are we striving to mirror this woman to the best of our ability in our homes as single girls? Recently, I have been studying the following commentaries with great interest. What an amazing woman the Lord saw fit to set as our paradigm of biblical womanhood! I love the excitement and challenge of such a lofty model to aim to follow.

Matthew Henry's Commentary on Proverbs 31:10-31:

This is the description of a virtuous woman of those days, but the general outlines equally suit every age and nation. She is very careful to recommend herself to her husband's esteem and affection, to know his mind, and is willing that he rule over her. 1. She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good. 2. She is one that takes pains in her duties, and takes pleasure in them. She is careful to fill up time, that none be lost. She rises early. She applies herself to the business proper for her, to women's business. She does what she does, with all her power, and trifles not. 3. She makes what she does turn to good account by prudent management. Many undo themselves by buying, without considering whether they can afford it. She provides well for her house. She lays up for hereafter. 4. She looks well to the ways of her household, that she may oblige all to do their duty to God and one another, as well as to her. 5. She is intent upon giving as upon getting, and does it freely and cheerfully. 6. She is discreet and obliging; every word she says, shows she governs herself by the rules of wisdom. She not only takes prudent measures herself, but gives prudent advice to others. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, and shows itself in the tongue. Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world. 7. Above all, she fears the Lord. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who made his choice of a wife by it. But the fear of God reigning in the heart, is the beauty of the soul; it lasts for ever. 8. She has firmness to bear up under crosses and disappointments. She shall reflect with comfort when she comes to be old, that she was not idle or useless when young. She shall rejoice in a world to come. She is a great blessing to her relations. If the fruit be good, the tree must have our good word. But she leaves it to her own works to praise her. Every one ought to desire this honour that cometh from God; and according to this standard we all ought to regulate our judgments. This description let all women daily study, who desire to be truly beloved and respected, useful and honourable. This passage is to be applied to individuals, but may it not also be applied to the church of God, which is described as a virtuous spouse? God by his grace has formed from among sinful men a church of true believers, to possess all the excellences here described.



The Proverbs 31 Woman by Kimberly Lorenzini (a condensed commentary comprising of several noted commentaries; footnotes and further details can be found here)

CONTENTS

Introduction
Proverbs 31: The Model Woman
I. Her value
II. Her husband
III. Her occupation
IV. Her character
V. Her household
VI. Herself
Conclusion
Bibliography

All Scripture taken from the New King James Version.

INTRODUCTION

Scripture describes the creation of a woman with the word “made.” God planned and supervised this “building” of the woman with the intent that she would be a “helper comparable to the man.” The word “helper” is also used to describe God (Ps. 33:20). It is a term of function rather than worth. A woman does not lose value as a person by humbly assuming the role as a helper. The wife then has the assignment of being her husband’s helper; (1) as a spiritual helper, (2) as a partner in continuing the generations, (3) as a confidant to offer comfort and fellowship, and (4) as a companion to provide encouragement and inspiration. In Proverbs 31: 10-31, we read a passage that is an acrostic poem that describes what kind of wife a woman should be and what kind of woman a man should choose to marry. I will be following the acrostic as it appears in The Companion Bible.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary states, “This description of the virtuous woman consists of twenty-two verses, each beginning with the letter of the Hebrew alphabet in order, which makes some think it was a poem by itself, written by some other hand, (other than Lemuel) and perhaps commonly repeated for the ease of which it was made alphabetical.”Adam Clarke states that “in this poem we have the character of a woman of genuine worth laid down: first, in general, vv. 10-12; secondly, in its particular or component parts, vv. 13-29; and, thirdly, the summing up of character, vv. 30-31.”

EXEGETICAL SECTION

I. Her value

10 Who can find a virtuous Wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

We can see here her general character in the description of virtuous. Matthew Henry’s definition of a virtuous woman is noteworthy: “a woman of virtue is a woman of spirit, who has the command of her own spirit and knows how to manage other people.” This brings to mind a woman who can control her emotions and bring up delicate situations when appropriate, as well as having good people skills with the ability to get the best out of each individual. Secondly, Matthew Henry notes a virtuous woman as being a woman of resolution, who having espoused good principles, is firm and steady to them. Here we see a woman who is diligent, capable, worthy, and good. The Companion Bible notes that this word limits it to one kind of excellence, but the Hebrew is wider: meaning strong in all moral qualities. The question in this proverb implies that a virtuous wife is hard to find. He who desires to marry should think twice that he is not biased by beauty, wealth or prestige, for this does not equal a woman of virtue. The Companion Bible notes the great lesson Solomon was to learn when he did not heed the warnings against foreign women. The second general characteristic is that she is invaluable. Her worth cannot be measured in terms of costly gold. The more rare good wives are, the more valued they are. Ruth is the only one noted in the O. T. as virtuous.

II. Her husband

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.

The third general characteristic of this woman is that she is an unspotted wife. Her husband trusts her. Henry discusses three issues that her husband finds confidence in her: He trusts in her chastity; He trusts her conduct, that she will act in all affairs with prudence and discretion; and he trusts in her fidelity to his interest. He knows that she will take care of the proper provisions of the household. Because of this, states Clarke, “he has no need for spoil-- he is not obligated to go out on predatory excursions, to provide for his family, at the expense of his neighboring tribes.” Here the word spoil means gain. This brings to my mind a man who has to sacrifice his responsibilities at work to compensate for the wastefulness of his wife. The husband in the Proverb is able to become a success because he can devote adequate time to his career with the efforts she puts forth to help him. This also can mean, as Henry states, that “he does not envy those who have most of the wealth of this world; he does not need it, he has enough, having such a wife.”

The fourth general characteristic is that she has her husband’s happiness in view constantly. The Believer’s Bible Commentary states that this means she never fails to cooperate. Henry states that she shows him love, not in foolish fondness, but by prudent endearments, giving him good words not bad ones. We can see that she does this, not only during the honeymoon stage or when she is in good humor, but constantly. As mentioned before, her husband is known in the gates. Henry states that “he is known for having a virtuous wife. By his cheerful countenance and pleasant humor it appears that he has an agreeable wife at home.” One may also know he has a good wife at home that takes care of his clothes.

III. Her occupation

13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar.

Starting in verse thirteen we have particular characteristics of this woman. One, she is willing to work. Here we see a woman who seeks out good things for her family. She looks for the cheapest and best deal. She doesn’t do it with complaints or malice. Henry notes, “she perceives that she can make things herself better and cheaper than she can buy them.” The Companion Bible notes that willingly with her hands, equals with her hands’ good will. The second particular characteristic is that she acts like merchants. Clarke explains this saying, “if she buys anything for her household, she sells sufficient of her own manufactures to pay for it.” She brings in provisions of all things necessary and convenient for her family. Whether she puts her hands to the task, or supervised others while they work, she is an efficient and organized homemaker, always watching over her home.

15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.

The third particular characteristic is that she is an economist of time. She is not one who stays up until morning and sleeps in all day. She rises up to tend to the needs of her family, not to do things for herself. Henry states that “she rises up to give her servants their breakfast, that they may be ready to go cheerfully about their work.” The Believer’s Bible Commentary states that her maidservants portion is not only breakfast, but also work assignments for the day. This shows again that she is diligent to run the needs of the household. The fourth particular characteristic of this woman is that she provides for the growing wants of her household. She considers what an advantage the field will be to her family. She is not a woman that buys out of impulse or emotion, but takes the time to think about purchases. Henry again has some good insight into this: “Though she have ever so much mind to it she will not buy it till she first considers whether it be worth her money, whether the ground will answer the character given of it, and whether she has money at command to pay for it.” I can’t help to think that this woman did not use credit cards but only bought what she could afford at the time. Many women feel that it is their duty to fix up the house and this gives them the right to go out and put their investments on the credit card. This scripture notes that she is such a good manager that her household does not need to be restricted to the bare necessities of life, but can enjoy some comforts. By turning her land into a vineyard shows that she has the ability to turn her investments into profits.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.

The fifth particular characteristic is that she takes care to manufacture the best articles of the kind, and to lay on reasonable price that she may secure a ready sale (v. 18).

The Believer’s Bible Commentary states the she takes a quiet, humble satisfaction in the results of her labor. This brings to mind the women who are perfectionists and are never satisfied with the work they have done. I do not think God wants us to be so particular in our work that we can’t find satisfaction. Here we see a woman who has the task well balanced. She works hard and long, but understands that there is a point where she can have satisfaction in her work. The sixth particular characteristic is that she is watchful and careful (v. 18). Clarke gives us the description that this woman keeps her lamp on all night to keep watch of sudden alarms.

The Wycliffe Bible Commentary states that the meaning of verse eighteen is that she has seen to it that she has plenty of oil to burn the lamp all night. This meaning can be contrasted with the story in Matthew 25:8. It is best to say that this is an example that she is careful to take care of all the business of the day, even if it means that she has to work into the night. The seventh particular characteristic is that she gives an example of skill and industry to her household (v. 19). In this verse we see that she will occasionally do work that requires all the strength she has. Clarke gives us a vivid picture of this process of making thread: “She takes the distaff, that on which the wool or flax was rolled; and the spindle, that by twisting of which she twisted the thread with the right hand, while she held the distaff in the guard of the left arm, and drew down the thread with the fingers of the left hand.”

24. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

The eighth particular characteristic is that she is known for her industriousness (v. 24). She makes linen garments and sells them in the market. Henry states that she would have to carry them to Tyre, the market of the nations, or some other trading city. Verse twenty-five can be looked at in a couple of ways. One is the manufacturing of the clothing she sells. Because she manufactures the garments herself, they would have double protection: They would be strong, and they would be elegant. In contrast, Henry identifies this verse to mean that she deals with the merchants at the market with honor and moral character. Either way she can rejoice in the future because she knows that she has not spent her time in idleness and will have the income from her work soon.


IV. Her character

20. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
26. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

The ninth particular characteristic is that she is truly charitable. Henry brings up the contrasts with her occupation as he states, she is as intent upon giving as she is upon getting. The Believer’s Bible Commentary states that in addition to all that she does with her occupation, she still has time to seek out the needy and help them. It is easy in this world to be so concentrated on making money and giving to our own family that we loose sight of God’s desire for us to share what He has given to us with those that are in need, in order to share His love. She makes more than her household needs in order to share with the needy. The tenth particular characteristic is that she gives moral management to her family. This woman is not one too talkative, nor peevish. But when she does talk it is full of wisdom and kindness. Clarke states that this is the most distinguishing excellence of this woman. There are few women who are called managing women who are not tyrants over their servants or lords over their husbands. Here we see this woman having great balance between leadership and sevanthood. The Wycliffe Bible Commentary points out that her virtues are not mere industry. Wisdom and kindness and nobility are hers-- not the characteristics of a sluggard. The Book of Proverbs, is full of the fact that a person with these characteristics “fears the Lord.”

V. Her Household

21. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For her household is clothed with scarlet. 27. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.

The eleventh particular characteristic is that she is not anxious relative to health and comfort of her family in the winter season, having provided clothes for each in the cold months. The Wycliffe Bible Commentary states that the LXX uses the word double instead of scarlet. Clarke further explains it to be sahanim or shanah, “to double,” signifies not only scarlet, so called from being twice or doubly dyed, but also “double garments.” The eleventh particular characteristic is that she is a moral manager; she takes care that all shall behave themselves well, that none shall keep company or develop bad habits. Here we see her keeping in touch of her household affairs in order that they are all doing what is good in God’s eyes. She may have to discipline the children in order to discourage bad habits. Many women today lack the accountability of their children. They send them off to daycare and never inquire what their activities are throughout the day. This verse brings to mind that, as parents, we are accountable for the actions of our children in God’s eyes. The twelfth particular characteristic is that she knows that idleness leads to wickedness. She makes sure that her household keeps up with their fair share of the work; also she makes sure that her children are involved some kind of godly activities. She gives a good example to her household by not getting involved in shallow or unproductive activities. Similarly, she is energetic and always occupied. Verse twenty indicates that she knows if she trains up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it.

VI. Herself

17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.
22. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

The thirteenth particular characteristic is that she takes care of her own health and strength, not only by means of useful labor, but by healthy exercise. If women leave any of the characteristics of this virtuous woman out, this would be the one. It is hard to balance the work as a mother, wife, professional, believer, and adequate exercise. Exercise however, can help with relieving the stress that comes with the day to day activities, and can help women deal with the ups and downs of relationships, not to mention the prolonged life. The Believer’s Bible Commentary states that according to this verse she is preparing herself for tasks with great vigor and enthusiasm. The fourteenth particular characteristic is that she makes herself coverings of tapestry (v. 22). Clarke points out that this tapestry is for carpeting or quilted work for her beds; and her clothing is made out of fine flax and purple. This is probably for a cloak of mantle.

29. “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all”
30. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31. Give her the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Verse twenty-nine, is a statement by her husband to the excellence of his wife. It is important that husbands praise their wives, it is a great bonus when they praise them in public. This last section gives us the summation of her character. First, she is not deceitful in her beauty. Many women have the appearance of beauty, but this woman has true beauty that comes from God. Henry states, “the fear of the Lord reigning in the heart is the beauty of the soul; it recommends those that have it to the favor of God, and is, in his sight, of great price; it will last forever, and bid defiance to death itself, which consumes the beauty of the body, but consummates the beauty of the soul.” The second summation of character is that she possesses the true religion. This is in fact the most important characteristic of them all. For if you have all the others you are still incomplete, the only thing that matters is if you are righteous in God’s eyes. Here the Book of Proverbs ends as it began, stressing the importance of reverence to the LORD. In verse thirty-one we see that the result of her labor is her best compliment.

CONCLUSION

This rare woman was a model of virtue: trustworthy, industrious, organized, and loving. Her husband totally trusted her, her grown children praised her, and her home was a model of efficiency. Still she found time to reach out to the poor and needy, and even increase her wealth with wise investments. We also see that she was as outwardly beautiful as she was inwardly. These positive qualities can be contrasted with the “contentious” wife (Prov. 19:13; 21:9, 19) and “immoral” woman (Prov. 5:3-14, 20; 6:24-32; 7:6-27).

The main truth that we can find from this passage is the theme that we see throughout the book: Wisdom is the fear of the Lord. Because this woman feared the Lord, her relationships and responsibilities were wisely balanced. She exemplifies the truth spoken by Jesus Christ, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to” (Matt. 6:33). A close look at this woman can help every woman set her priorities in managing the time, resources, and giftedness God has given.