Thoughts on Courtship: Part 4

The following are other books I would recommend for anyone interested in further reading about pursuing marriage in a God honoring way:

When God Writes Your Love Story and When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot

Her Hand In Marriage by Douglas Wilson

What He Must Be If He Wants To Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham

Thoughts on Courtship: Part 3

In conclusion, I would like to share why I have chosen to pursue the path of courtship instead of more typical dating relationships.

First of all, I believe modern dating fosters a lack of commitment, and I don't have any desire to waste my time dating guys that have no intention of moving toward marriage.

Furthermore, I love the concept of getting to know someone primarily within the context of family. I've learned that I can't trust my judgment even in dating relationships (much less with deciding who I will spend the rest of my life with!), so I greatly value my parents' wisdom and opinions. I can't even begin to explain how freeing it is to have my parents' support in this matter. This is the most important earthly decision I will ever make (outside of salvation, of course) and I don't have to decide all by myself!

I have been especially grateful for my dad's wisdom and discernment over the past few years when their have been situations that have warranted his involvement. Because I am a girl, my emotions tend to cloud out reality when it comes to these matters (i.e. "well, he doesn't really seem to be walking closely with God or preparing to be the spiritual leader of a family, but he does attend church and he sure is cute!!!"). My dad, however, is able to view young men with a more realistic mindset and "screen" them so I don't have to.

Finally, by choosing to wait for God to bring the right man into my life, I have had the opportunity to practice building the spiritual muscles of trust and contentment. Being still and waiting on God's timing have been the biggest challenges I have yet to encounter in my walk with the Lord, but I believe He is using this time of uncertainty and sometimes discouragement to teach me so much about being faithful where I am and finding rest and fulfillment in Him.

I've run out of time to write tonight, but I hope to post my list of other books I recommend on this subject tomorrow!

Thoughts on Courtship: Part 2

Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
Reviewed 2005

Boy Meets Girl expands on Joshua Harris' first book and shares practical steps to take when preparing to pursue marriage in a God honoring way. This book is a follow-up to the author's previous book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which explains how short-term relationships are often a detour from wholeheartedly serving God as a single person.

Through this book I learned that the purpose of the season of courtship is to deepen one's relationship with another with the intent of prayerfully and purposefully exploring the possibility of marriage.

The differences between lawlessness and legalism were reiterated throughout this book and I learned how imperative it is to find a balance between the two extremes. The issue is not whether we use the terms "dating" or "courting" to classify a relationship, but rather if they are unselfishly guarding the other's heart and bringing honor to God through their pursuit of romance/marriage.

I also learned about the importance of humbly embracing community in the relationship by involving family, friends, mentors, and the church family. This support brings much-needed guidance, advice, strength, and especially prayer to the relationship.

Thoughts on Courtship: Part 1

Over the next few days I will be posting some thoughts on courtship, including two reviews of books that greatly shaped my views on dating and courtship. The word "courtship" could bring to mind all sorts of concepts and ideas, but for the sake of the following posts, my definition of courtship is simply getting to know someone with the primary intention of determining whether or not this person is the one God has for you to marry.

Today and tomorrow I will be posting my book reviews for I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. I read and reviewed both of these books in mid-2005, during a season in which God was really shaping and refining my views on dating and courtship (as well as many other areas!). On Thursday, I plan to conclude this "series" with my personal thoughts on courtship and why I have chosen to travel this different path to the altar (Lord willing) instead of our culture's method of dating. I will also include a list of the books I recommend that encourage Christians to glorify God through their pursuit of marriage.

First, I'd like to preface the following posts by saying that I do not want to come across as legalistic about courting vs. dating. I do not believe that the term "courting" is any more holy than the term "dating". My main purpose in writing this is to encourage you to join me in pursuing marriage in a way that glorifies God. Exactly how God would have you do that is for you to pray about, discuss with your family, and seek His will for you personally.


I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
Reviewed in 2005

I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a book about the negative effects of the dating mentality in our culture. The author draws a parallel between playing the dating game and eating at a fast food restaurant. While it's not wrong to eat at a fast food restaurant, something far greater is available.

When one uses their single years to engage in many relationships, they do themselves a disservice by robbing themselves of the few set apart years God has given for service to others and preparing for their futures. Also, the author wisely points out that our generation's dating relationships do very little to prepare for marriage, but are actually a training ground for divorce. If one is accustomed to moving on whenever a relationship loses its excitement or when a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't add up to one's expectations, how will marriage change that mindset? As Harris points out, "It seems that dating as we have come to know it doesn't really prepare us for marriage; instead it can be a training ground for divorce. We cannot practice life-long commitment in a series of short-term relationships."

This book teaches that by choosing not to engage in short-term dating relationships, one's relationship with God can be strengthened as they wait on His plan to unfold and learn to trust Him. Also emphasized throughout this book is the fact that, we, as humans, want what we want right now, but the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. We can't "fast forward" through our lives and miss the important seasons God intends to use to teach and mature us in. Each season builds upon the one preceding it. Harris remarks that "as a fruit picked green or a flower picked before it blossoms, our attempts to rush God's timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives." This book encourages us to lay our futures in His hands and trust Him as we wait.

Other subjects covered are: how to make the most of your single years, how Jesus can forgive and restore after a sinful past, how to have uplifting relationships with the opposite sex, observing important character traits in a future potential spouse and cultivating the traits in our own lives, and how to have a biblical and realistic view of marriage (among many other topics).

I highly recommend this book! A much more in depth summary can be found here.

To My Precious Sister on Her 2nd Birthday...

Two years ago, Elliott, Oliver, Sullivan, Harrison, and I eagerly awaited Daddy's phone call letting us know that you had arrived! As soon as Daddy called on the chilly evening of February 19, 2007, we quickly threw on our coats and loaded up into the van for the fifteen minute drive to the hospital to meet you.

We were so glad you were finally here and healthy.

I had wanted a sister for so long. Who would have ever thought that I would finally get the precious blessing of a baby sister when I was 19 years old? When you were a little more than two months old, we moved to VA to sell our properties there. God redirected our path in a way we weren't expecting, and soon after moving in, we bought two dairy cows to begin a new business venture. Your first summer was filled with hard work for the rest of the family as we put our effort into farming and marketing our new endeavor. You have brought so much joy to our hectic and busy lives over the past two years.You like to pitch in with the work where you can.You are growing so fast! You love to sing songs, and you are getting to the age where we can carry on semi-conversations consisting of a few (hardly understandable!) words.The highlight of your week is "chuch" (church). Their are several sweet older girls (10-12 year olds) that love playing with you. Recently, as soon as the last "amen" was said, you immediately exclaimed, "eat!" "play!" with great excitement, knowing that next we would eat and then you could play with your friends.

Whenever Daddy and Mama aren't home, you often ask, "Daddy pita?" or "Mama pita?", meaning "Are Daddy and Mama bringing home pizza?" They rarely do, but you are always hoping for it!Elliott and Oliver have a very special place in your heart. You adore them and always run to greet them when they come in from their farm chores.You love being at the river as much as I do. Even after the weather turned cold, you would find your swimsuit and try to put it on on top of your clothes to show us that you wanted to go swimming!
We love how chubby your little arms and legs are!
You are quite the farm girl. You love being outside with the animals. When Sullivan and Harrison get the eggs each day, you eagerly find your shoes and "coap" (coat) so you can help with the "ecks" (eggs). You are going to be such a smart farm girl when you get older. You're getting a huge head start compared to me!After your nap each afternoon, you often ask me, "cocos?", which means "Are we gonna bake cookies?". Many afternoons we do bake some sort of treat. You mostly enjoy helping because you get to lick the beaters.I think you are the prettiest baby I have ever seen!While you are most definitely a tough girl that mostly loves playing with Sullivan and Harrison, you have recently become interested in all of your dollbabies also. When I tried to take your picture as a big two year old yesterday morning, you insisted that your babies join us. Harrison helped with our little "photo shoot" and he was making all sorts of silly faces behind the camera for you to copy!You are so precious. Last night we all celebrated your birthday with you!As you grow, I pray that you will have a heart to honor and obey Daddy and Mama, and then ultimately, God. I love you so much, Sheridan Anna Claire!

Psalm 51:10 & 12

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey You." Psalm 51:10 & 12, NLT

One Gallon in Just One Hour?

At church two Sundays ago, as Oliver and his friends were discussing milk, one friend explained how it is impossible to drink one entire gallon of milk in just one hour because the milk would supposedly curdle and turn into cheese in your stomach. Oliver adamantly disagreed, so his friend dared him to try it. So, this past Saturday at 4:38 PM, Oliver began his one hour of drinking milk! He is only holding a half gallon in this picture. He used two plastic half gallons because he had to go to the barn for the evening milking during his one hour. Shortly after 5:38, Elliott called from the milking parlor to let us know that Oliver really did finish the gallon in one hour! We were so happy for him, and thrilled that he would get to prove his friend wrong the following day at church. Unfortunately though, within three minutes, Elliott called again to tell us that Oliver had thrown up. And as if that weren't bad enough, it really had curdled like cottage cheese! So, on Sunday, Oliver had to agree with his friend that it wasn't actually possible to drink one gallon of milk in one hour! However, our grandmother claims she can do it, so we'll see...

Valentine's Day Treats

Sheridan and I spent yesterday afternoon baking and decorating a Valentine's Day cake and cupcakes! I had so much fun creating all of the different designs on the cupcakes. We took our treats to share at the meal after church today.

Happy Valentine's Day!

While I've read several blogs and other online articles about the depressed state singles are supposed to find themselves in on this somehow vitally important day, I must admit it has never been a sad day for me! Neither of my parents have ever made a big deal of the holiday so I've never felt like I was missing terribly much. If, as a married girl, my husband celebrates Valentine's Day and buys me a gift or takes me out to dinner, I'm sure I'll be thrilled, but if he doesn't, I certainly can live through that too!

Last year I posted, "What I'm Praying For In A Future Husband" on Valentine's Day. I thought it may be appropriate to re-post it this year:

The following list is copied straight out of my journal. It's not meant to be an exhaustive, long list and I certainly don't expect to marry anyone perfect, but these are the things that are of greatest importance to me in considering a future husband...

1. I pray that he will be serious about his walk with God. Someone who, by being with him, I will be encouraged to draw closer to God. It is of great importance to me that he is driven by his own personal relationship with Christ and absolutely not just out to follow a list of biblical "rules". I pray he will be spiritually and financially prepared to take on the role of the leader of our family and that he will have a biblical understanding of his role and mine in our home. I pray that he will look forward to being a daddy and will allow God to give us the amount of children He chooses.

2. I pray that he will be a hard worker. This is of huge importance to me because my Daddy is an extremely hard worker and he and Mama have taught the boys and I to be hard workers also. For me to marry someone less diligent or less driven than me would simply drive me crazy! I would have difficulty respecting someone that buckled under hard work easier than I do.

3. I pray that he will be humble.

Thrift Store Deals

On Thursday, Daddy had to go to pick up some things from our grandparents' house in Chesapeake so Mama and I tagged along and got dropped off at our favorite thrift stores in Norfolk. I love the challenge of finding cute, inexpensive clothes at thrift stores. I found some great deals:

Aeropostale pale turquoise button-up shirt with pink floral design, brand new with tags still attached (originally $29.50) $1.49 Ralph Lauren pink turtleneck sweater with green RL signature pony $3.99
American Eagle button-up western shirt (I wanted a new western shirt for a square dance we're going to in March!) $1.49
J.Crew pink light weight cardigan sweater for the spring $1.99
Liz Claiborne denim skirt with frayed hem (I bought this skirt for the square dance also since it seems sort of western) $4.99
Gap white denim jacket/blazer for the spring $2.49
Grand total= less than $20!

Thank You Emily!

Last week I won a giveaway of very cute earrings at my blogging friend Emily's blog! I am wearing them in the picture above. I like them very much and think that they will complement a lot of my outfits.

Emily is a 9th grade homeschooler with a heart for the Lord. I encourage you to visit her blog, Practically Pink.

Entrepreneurial Endeavors: Interview with the Artist and Entrepreneur of Graceful Designs

I am delighted to share an interview with Hannah Girotti, the artist and entrepreneurer behind Graceful Designs, a business offering beautiful watercolor, photographed, and stamped greeting cards.

Excerpted the "About the Artist" page at Hannah's website:

"Hannah G. Girotti lives in Virginia with her family. She is a graduate of home education and has had an interest in art since childhood. She enjoys capturing scenic and nature images, her photographic subjects ranging from historic bridges to old barns or from sunsets to the diverse array of flowers in her own garden. Shooting with a Canon EOS 450D camera, she then uses the photographs as the basis for many of her watercolor paintings. Graceful Designs was begun as an opportunity to use her God-given skills while learning to run a business and being productive in her home."

How old are you? 25

What do you offer? I primarily sell handmade greeting and note cards, created from my own photography, watercolor paintings, and other artwork. From renderings of God's beautiful creation, to calligraphed Scripture and songs, the cards offered by Graceful Designs are an outlet for a variety of my creative interests. What customers find at my website is probably not the typical selection you would see at stores everyday, so the unique, handmade quality is refreshing to people looking for distinctive correspondence. I also dabble in "on location" portrait photography for family, friends, and others in our local area.

How did you get started in your business? Growing up, I have always enjoyed making cards for different occasions, yet had never mass-produced anything. When I graduated from high school in 2003, my parents encouraged me to spend my time productively, continuing to learn and develop the skills God had given me, while using our home and family as a base from which to serve. Studying how to start and run a small business was one undertaking we thought would be helpful. I began taking classes on a few artistic subjects that interested me, such as do-it- yourself framing, and both my sister and I were able to participate in an interactive online course on small home-based business that helped us sort through some things. [ I believe this course is now being offered as an e-book for young women, available at BiblicalWomanhood.com.] My very first card sales were to family members and friends who happened to find out I was producing cards for sale. It was a slow start, but soon I was able to take part in a holiday craft show with my grandmother and hand out business cards. Mom's beautician even allowed me to set up a display box of my cards in her shop.

What marketing avenues have you pursued? Do you have future ideas to "grow" your business and what you offer? In 2006 I tried seeing if a local shop would purchase from me, but because of my low production volume/higher cost, that route didn't work out at the time, but selling in retail stores is something I'd like to pursue more of very soon. In February of 2008 the Graceful Designs website was finally launched, which has, needless to say, been a big help in getting the business off the ground, as it allows anyone anywhere to purchase from me. So far, I have advertised my site by bartering for sidebar ad space at BiblicalWomanhood.com and provided buttons for bloggers to use as part of my Tell-a-Friend incentive. As far as future plans, I hope to branch out from cards and eventually have matted and framed artwork for sale as well. Local craft shows are another possible idea I may do at some point along with my siblings, which would help get the word out more.

Does your family play any part in your business? My family has definitely been an encouragement during the whole learning process! They give advice and "ooh and ahh" over projects that I don't think are the best. They give me great input when I ask, "How does this look?" Dad has been one of my faithful customers; Mom gives creative ideas as well as picks up some supply orders for me while out on shopping trips; Jonathan helped me discover different aspects of building a website; and Sarah has been my fellow entrepreneur as we try to figure out all the confusing tax laws together. :)

Do you feel that being homeschooled has benefited you as you've begun this business? If so, how? Yes. Homeschooling helped instill the mindset of completing hard tasks with excellence, which is a quality you need when growing a business. I am thankful to have been homeschooled all the way up through high school, and now I'm very happy and content to continue being at home after high school, as I prepare for a future household.

What were the start-up costs? Well, I had to pay a small fee ($10 each) for a county business license and DBA (doing business as) name registration. Then I had to invest in a lot of bulk supplies to begin my inventory. Business cards for free or at low cost have been a helpful tool.

How do you spend your time not related to your business? I enjoy spending time with my family and our church fellowship, gardening and cooking, baking bread, reading edifying blogs, writing letters to friends, quilting, organizing, and many other creative activities around the home. I love working with my hands.

What are your future goals? I'd like to keep developing my skills and knowledge in the area of photography and designing--I know I have a lot of room for growth. To cultivate and use the talents/interests God has allowed me to have while staying my focus on my family instead of my own pursuits is a balance I seek to live out.

Hannah's family and my family briefly attended the same church several years ago, and I have enjoyed keeping in touch and occasionally visiting with Hannah and her sister, Sarah, since then. It has been a joy to watch Hannah begin this business! I highly encourage you to visit her website and see all of her beautiful artwork!

Snow Day

This morning we woke up to snow for the first time this winter. It was Sheridan's first time ever playing in snow. Elliott worked on a snowman... Oliver and Sullivan in a snowball fight...Daddy and Oliver... Some people take snowball fights very seriously...Elliott...
Then Oliver had the great idea to pull a sled behind a four wheeler... We had a lot of fun being pulled by the four wheeler, especially when Oliver would drive fast!Sheridan and I during our ride...My sweet, almost two year old sister... All six of us with the snowman...Now we are enjoying a cozy afternoon in our warm home!