Blogging Break

As I mentioned just a few days ago, I have been falling behind in many of my tasks. I feel as if I am doing a half-way job in almost every realm -- as a daughter, a sister, a fiancée, and as a friend -- so something needs to change. Most areas I have little or no control over, but the blog is entirely within my jurisdiction so I believe it will be advantageous for me to take a break from blogging for an indefinite period of time. I need to seek the Lord and reevaluate my priorities, so I do not know whether I will have peace to move forward in two weeks, two months, or however long it may be. Of course I look forward to returning to the blogging world and sharing the happenings that may occur in my absense.
In the mean time, I will continue to write an entry every few weeks for the Women for God Bible study, and I have recently been honored with an opportunity to become a contributor at Ladies Against Feminism, so I look forward to occasionally writing there as well. I also encourage you to visit the many inspiring and edifying blogs listed on my sidebar.
May God give us the grace to wholeheartedly serve our families and efficiently use our days to glorify Him alone!"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Thankful for My Daddy

My dad rarely uses the internet, so although he will not be reading this post, I still want to express how thankful I am for him, especially today on Father's Day.

My dad is not the affectionate type who took me to father-daughter retreats where we sipped tea and discussed matters of the heart. Instead, my daddy taught me how to swing a hammer, drive a tractor, raise my hands high on rollercoasters, and which sports teams to pull for.

(Daddy always made sure I ended up sitting where I would get the most drenched on the Roman Rapids water ride at Busch Gardens! )

When I was 15 and we lived on the Albemarle Sound, I remember summer days spent out on the water and the sudden dread that came upon me in the early evening when the familiar white Chevy pick-up truck pulled down our dirt road. It meant that I had to go inside, change into my work clothes, and leave, along with Daddy, Elliott, and Oliver, for the new house we were in the process of building. We would load up four-wide in the truck and work until at least dark, although when we came under a time crunch I remember occasionally working in the either miserably hot or freezing cold temperature of a framed house after midnight.

Daddy taught us to do things right. We learned to never be caught working with only one hand, doing a job half-way, or worst of all, sitting down on the job. "Work smarter, not harder" and "Es para hora no para manana" ("I need that [tool] today, not tomorrow") became second-nature phrases in our daily lives. He is a perfectionist and we learned to work with excellence.

At the time, and in the years that followed on other job sites, I did not find much enjoyment in construction and I struggled to focus on the task at hand. I could never remember a sledge hammer from a crow bar (I know, that is pretty bad!) and I would actually count how many times I would have to swing the hammer to get the nail in the 2x4. Even after the house was framed, you could tell exactly where I had nailed because of all the hammer marks surrounding the nail on the 2x4.

Looking back, it was on that first job site that I feel I learned the most about being a hard worker. Daddy didn't allow me to use the fact that I was a girl as an excuse for being weak. I am so thankful that he always took me along and taught me to work hard.

Daddy has always challenged me to do the hard things, but the wonderful thing about doing the hard things is that everything else becomes easy. The day he taught me to drive a truck pulling a trailer hauling 2x4's he took me over the S Bridge in Hertford. Only a handful of the readers of this blog know the S Bridge, but it is as it sounds: a tiny, narrow "S" that understandably would scare a young teenager driving a large vehicle pulling a long trailer! But now I am not the least bit scared to pull a trailer because I learned the hardest way.

When Mama and I have one of our many crazy entrepreneurial ideas, Daddy doesn't shut them down immediately, but instead allows us to work through them in our minds and pursue them. If it weren't for Daddy's wisdom and guidance regarding surveys, deeds, land elevation, perc tests, construction, etc., I likely would not have been confident enough in my own abilities to purchase the investment properties I have owned over the past several years.

On Daddy's 45th birthday this past April, it also marked three years since he retired from his job as the superintendent of his company's bridge building team in an effort to be more involved in our lives. He left behind the familiarity of a job and employees he knew well to be more involved with our family. As our provider, he left the stability of a good company he had been with for a very long time and the security of a steady income to bravely follow God's leading and start out on his own. While the past three years have been very different from the rest of my life, I am so thankful to have spent them getting to know Daddy better and learning from him in ways we would have never been able to just in short periods of time in the evenings or on weekends.

This year, I am especially thankful for Daddy's involvement in my courtship with Stephen. I am sure it was outside of his comfort zone to handle this decision. I am equally grateful for his wisdom in discerning that the young men who pursued me prior to Stephen were not God's will for my life. What an assurance it will be in Stephen and my marriage that my father gave his blessing and stamp of approval. When difficult times come in our marriage, I will never have to wonder if my decision was made ignorantly because I was blinded by love.

My dad's influence in my life is the sole reason I am emotionally tough and not like a dainty flower. His wisdom and insight have helped to shape me into the young woman I am today. I pray I will be able to effectively pass on the legacy my dad has built in my life to my own children one day.

Five Reads for Friday

1. "A Dream Deferred" from Ladies Against Feminism (another right-on article about biblical womanhood written especially for unmarried young women, but relevant for all Christian women)

2. & 3. "It's a Love Story" from Tweety Tweets and "The Courtship" from Steward of the King (The courtship and recent engagement of my friends, Abby and John Paul, as written by John Paul and his sister - my sweet friend also named Abigail. Their courtship has been a joy to watch unfold from a distance, and it was intertwined with my own courtship in an interesting way, as John Paul approached Abby's father shortly after Stephen approached my father and Abigail kindly shared an in-depth list of "courtship questions for potential suitors" that John Paul had previously answered which soon became useful to my own father as he got to know Stephen)

4. "Young Food Entrepreneurs Make Their Future by Hand" from The New York Times (Since I love cooking and entrepreneurial endeavors, this article was inspiring when I first read it several weeks ago and has continued to come back to my mind. If time permits in my future and it does not cause an interference with family life, I would love to pursue a little cottage industry selling cheesecakes or other baked goods I feel confident in making)

5. "What To Do When You Realize You Are Out of Barbecue Sauce" from Help Meet in the Making (My dear friend, Leigha, shares her recipe for homemade barbecue sauce... I have used this recipe before and it works well as a stand-in for store-bought barbecue sauce for those of us who live quite a distance from a grocery store)

Tribute to the Family Truckster

(written by Mama)

As we approach the one year anniversary this Saturday of moving to this old, abandoned farm I am amazed by God's goodness in not only providing for us, but also helping us to like it - actually LOVE it here.

When I look around the farm and observe the ways things have changed, I realize that the biggest changes haven't been in the way things look but rather in how we view them. The old house still has only one tiny bathroom and no air conditioning but we seldom ever talk about it.

Instead, we talk about the cool breeze that often blows in the windows as night falls. We comment on how nice it is when the wind shifts and the flies aren't as omnipresent. And we get way too excited when we're able to eat supper before 8pm and have an hour or two to enjoy the evening before going to bed. We eagerly await evidence each month that the older boys have been successful in their newly acquired skill of artificially inseminating the cows and we cheer when one of the younger boys invents a way to mount a basket on his bike to transport bottles to the calf pen.

Probably one of the most obvious differences in the way we view things would be in regard to our material possessions - especially vehicles.

About five years ago I met, for the first time in my life, someone who drove a vehicle over 100,000 miles. She told me their minivan actually had 200,000 miles on it and I remember how I tried to hide my shock and disbelief. Trying to use the new friendship as a chance to broaden my horizons, I asked her how she knew when it was time to sell it if not at what I considered the drop-dead number of 100,000 miles. Can you believe she had a well-thought out formula?! She said that when a vehicle costs half as much to repair each month as it would to make payments on another vehicle, it was time to replace it. I couldn't have been any more amazed by her incredible wealth of knowledge.

All my married life, when a car hit the 100K mile marker, it was quickly off-loaded. Although we stopped getting loans for cars about 15 years ago when we went through Larry Burkett's budgeting series, we held fast to the rule of unloading cars before they reached the milestone of what we assumed would be certain and complete disaster.

But as farming has changed what we consider acceptable housing accommodations, we have entered a new era with our vehicles as well. With the exception of regular oil changes, we've thrown caution to the wind as we watched the odometer turn endlessly. Well, we had hoped it would turn endlessly.

Yesterday, our faithful family van of nearly 10 years left on a flatbed amidst the memory-filled send-off for which it was so deserving. Having brought babies home from the hospital, taking us on family vacations, and teaching some of the older kids to drive, our beloved van served us for more than 250,000 miles.
When we originally bought the van, I felt we MUST have a 12 passenger vehicle to carry our then, 5 children comfortably. There was positively not enough room for our party of 7 in a minivan - or so we thought. The dealer told us that the van had been traded in from the government and had been in service in the D.C. area. Because the van was completely black with privacy-blackened windows and the only sign of wear was on the floor and frame of the back doors, we wondered if it had been used in the coroner's office where caskets may have made the excessive wear marks.

As excited as I was to have a big, family van, it bothered me when in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy, people looked suspicious or even frightened as we drove by in the sinister-looking vehicle.

I asked Timmy if we could please paint the bottom quarter of the body with an alternating, complementary color so it wouldn't look so ominous. He flatly refused, reminding me that it would be a complete waste of money. In the mean time, he put a sad, noticeable "ding" (graciously described) near the passenger's side front tire on the once-perfect body.

This only further compounded my desire to have the semi-paint job (along with the now necessary body work). One day, in an insane moment of babbling, I told Timmy that what we needed was someone to lightly tap that passenger side so their insurance would pay for the repair and we could chip in for the difference of the two-tone paint job. Timmy, understandably, scolded me for even thinking such a fool thought.

Not long after that, we were making a right turn, properly signaled, and the man behind us was answering a call on his cell phone and glided right into the passenger side right tire area of our van. Please don't judge too harshly, but after I thanked the Lord profusely for his divine protection, I chose my new paint color.

As the years wore on, and we used the van for our tractor service, hauling gas cans, weed blades, and the like, along with farm use that became part of our new life, the van degenerated into a work van instead of a nice family van. When we'd load up for a family excursion, the girls would often have to sit on a towel to keep their clothes from getting dirty from the animals that had also been recently transported.

One memory that came to mind yesterday as the van was being hauled away was when Meredith and I left for the day to celebrate her 21st birthday. As always, the day included plenty of shopping and a meal at a girl-friendly restaurant. Not able to finish all of our lunch, we wrapped it up and put it in the van to store safely during the cold December day. However, we noticed something unusual at some point in regard to our left-overs. There was a nibbling, crunchy sound coming from our bags. The boys had forewarned us although we thought it was just brotherly teasing. There was a mouse, who somehow had gained entry during a routine pick up of animal feed, that was comfortably living in the van and on this day was eating our left-overs nonchalantly situated between Meredith and me as if he were one of the girls!

Fearing what we'd do if he jumped on us while we were driving, we opted to run the remainder of our shopping errands while leaving the van doors wide open in the parking lot - hoping he'd jump out and preferring to be robbed rather than attacked by a mouse. The picture in my mind's eye of the van sitting in the parking lot unaccompanied with doors wide open will forever be part of my van memories.

Poor Elliott, our mildest, most cautious driver was at the wheel when the van breathed its last. With a gurgle and some steam, it gave up the fight. Once we realized the extent of the damage, I remembered my seasoned, clunker-wise church friend's advice and tailoring it just a bit, we decided it wasn't worth repairing a vehicle when the expenses exceeded three times the value. So we bid our van farewell.

Offering the brightest ray of sunshine in our sorrow is the perky Dodge Durango that reluctantly became the family vehicle about two years ago when gas prices were high, causing us to leave our trusty van home most of the time. Boasting a whopping 256,000 miles, this car has been a most unusual vehicle for a family of eight. Because it only seats seven, the last 3 people sitting on a small bench seat have to "double-buckle" as we call it. Our years with the Durango are indelibly imprinted on our minds. (Whether for good or bad depends on which seat one has spent the last two years occupying.)

Because it is so small and really not intended to carry passengers of which 3 are at least six feet tall and one is in a large, clunky carseat, we feel the stares of passersby boring into our backs when we unload and unload and unload the passengers contained in the tiny SUV. To combat the recurrence of this uncomfortable incident, we instituted a command upon arrival at our destination: "Dismount and STEP AWAY from the vehicle!" That way, people don't know where we've all come from. It works well.

For one and a half years we all piled into the little Durango to attend church in Wake Forest - 2 hours away. Amazingly, there was very little discussion about discomfort. We had each other, we had our health, and we made many memories as we'd stop on the way home for 2 half gallons of ice cream each week and dish it out using our standard auto inventory of bowls and spoons that are in any Alexander-occupied vehicle.

I look back at that girl who just HAD to have a 12 passenger van and wonder what her problem was! The good life is lived in small cars just as easily as big ones. Cars with a bit of hay and animal feed ride just as well as those that don't. What matters is making the most of these fleeting days I have with these dear friends I call my husband and children. Any vehicle is suitable for memory-making and as long as it doesn't include any fury little creatures who nibble on my left-overs, I hope to find contentment in whatever the Lord provides.

Reflections from Today's Reading

After writing last night about striving to maintain a servant's heart in the midst of many tasks, I was struck by today's text from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. It encouraged me and renewed my focus:

You have inherited the Divine nature, says Peter, now screw your attention down and form habits, give diligence, concentrate. "Add" means all that character means. No man is born either naturally or supernaturally with character, he has to make character. Nor are we born with habits; we have to form habits on the basis of the new life God has put into us. We are not meant to be illuminated versions, but the common stuff of ordinary life exhibiting the marvel of the grace of God. Drudgery is the touchstone of character. The great hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. "Jesus took a towel . . . and began to wash the disciples' feet."

There are times when there is no illumination and no thrill, but just the daily round, the common task. Routine is God's way of saving us between our times of inspiration. Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling minutes, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God.

It is the "adding" that is difficult. We say we do not expect God to carry us to heaven on flowery beds of ease, and yet we act as if we did! The tiniest detail in which I obey has all the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it. If I do my duty, not for duty's sake, but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience the whole superb grace of God is mine through the Atonement.

Catching Up

Lately I have been behind on nearly everything! The busyness of the summer seems to be in full swing already. We have a lot of exciting plans for the summer, including some traveling, so I feel I must get on top of everything I possibly can now so I won't be completely overwhelmed as we approach the wedding. It is a struggle for me to maintain a servant's heart toward my family when I am trying in my own strength to accomplish everything on my eternally insignificant "to do list". This is wrong of me and shows that my heart is often not where it should be. I long to "finish strong" in this particular season of "striving to serve at home", so I must keep my priorities straight.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

I find that my most effective tool for wise time management (avoiding idleness) is to stay away from the internet (especially the blogosphere) when possible, so that is my excuse for blogging sporadically lately and barely staying on top of emails. I hope to catch up very soon.

I spent my free time last week catching up on sewing and mending projects, organizing my room, filing a lot of old business records, listing a small assortment of items I no longer need on eBay (everything is still at very reasonable prices, so if you are in the market for anything from Laura Ashley dresses to Switchfoot CD's, I encourage you to check it out!), and making cheesecakes to sell to our farm customers in an effort to make extra money to help defray some of the wedding costs. The restaurant I bake for has ordered six cheesecakes so I will soon begin preparing those as well. I plan to deliver them when Elliott and I go to NC to do our tractor work next week.

In my wedding planning, I am still so thrilled to have the church booked for the ceremony. I am now working on smaller details, such as save-the-dates, invitations, and bridesmaid dresses.

Rather than ending the school year, as most students are, Sullivan and Harrison are beginning their new school year now so we can take time off in late November/December when we will be busy preparing for the wedding, so I have been price-shopping online and ordering their new books. I can't believe they are beginning the 4th and 6th grades! When time permits, my mom and I have been enjoying taking them (along with sweet Sheridan) for short swims at a local pool.

The older boys, my dad, and our summer intern have been working very hard on the farm. Sitting down to eat dinner before 8:30 pm is rare. Elliott's poultry operation is going well and we have been processing about 300 chickens per month (we process every other week). The farmers market sales seem to be doing better than last year. We are hosting one or two farm tours each month, which have been very well attended. This week marks our one year anniversary at this new farm the Lord provided for us! We continue to be grateful for His provision.

The highlight of every day is my evening talk with my wonderful Stephen, as well as counting down the days until I get to see him again. He is so good to me! There is nothing like getting a sweet email in the middle of the day, a random phone call for no particular reason, or an eloquently written letter in the mail. I can't even begin to explain how happy he makes me and what a joy it is to be his girl.

This should catch everyone up on my latest happenings!

Six Months

...from today I will be married!

Every day I awake amazed that I really am getting married to my wonderful Stephen. My love for him grows with each passing day. I could drive away a lot of readers with my rambling infatuation, so I try to keep it toned down, but I sometimes wish I could close every post with something Stephen said to me or sent to me, or yet another reason why we are so perfectly matched for each other.

I can't wait to be his girl for the rest of my life! It is a delight to belong to him and dream with him about our future. Our future is far from typical. We have a true adventure ahead of us, with joys and challenges that only we will fully know and understand, but I can't imagine embarking upon this journey with anyone I trust and respect as greatly as I trust and respect my own future husband.

I am so blessed by the Lord! I am increasingly in awe of God's faithfulness in orchestrating our modern day fairy tale love story. When I come across a scripture or song that used to be an encouragement to me as I waited on God to unfold the details of my future marriage, I can't help but smile with joy as I am reminded of God's real, true faithfulness displayed through our courtship and engagement. God's Word has proven true again and again. I pray that my story will be a great encouragement to other young women also trusting God to bring the right man for them. He really is faithful to keep that which we have entrusted to Him. "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

Planning for our wedding and future is such a joy because God is orchestrating every detail. It has always been exciting to watch God provide for my own family's needs over the years, but it doesn't even compare to watching Him provide for Stephen and me. We are just a young couple in a sea of millions yet He brought us together, provides for us, and directs our paths.

Even though six months still feels like an eternity at times, I am praying that I will be wise and intentional in these final six months at home with my family. I pray that God will use this season to better prepare me to be the help meet He intends for me to be for my soon-to-be husband. I also pray that I will patiently make the most of every day I am still at home, not always pining for the future, but taking advantage of every opportunity to build sweeter relationships with my family, glean from the abundance of wisdom my mother has to offer, handle the daily family housework and schooling with diligence and a pure servant's heart, and productively accomplish the many projects (wedding planning, tractor service season, unfinished details, etc.) still ahead before I marry. I appreciate your prayers as I pursue these endeavors over the following months.

"Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end." Ephesians 3:20

I have not been online reading many articles over the past few days so I will be skipping my "Five Reads for Friday" entry this week.

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake

This recipe is from an old church cookbook and is one of my family's favorite cheesecakes. It is very similar to a cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory.

picture courtesy of myrecipes.com features an Oreo crust

1 roll of refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough
(I use my homemade chocolate chip cookie dough)

3 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

3 pkgs. cream cheese (at room temperature)

3/4 c. sugar

1-2 c. chocolate chips

Press cookie dough on bottom of springform pan. When I use homemade cookie dough, I just spread enough to thoroughly cover the bottom of the pan with a layer as thick as a cookie. Thoroughly mix following four ingredients together. If the cream cheese is not softened to room temperature it will cause the cheesecake to be lumpy. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour mixture over cookie dough and bake at 350 degrees until done (about one hour). Enjoy!

The Wedding Church is Finally Booked!

The Lord provided a perfect, beautiful church for the wedding this past week!

This church was originally the most expensive of the 30+ churches I contacted over the past several months, so we had already eliminated it based on the unusually high cost. However, the Lord opened doors in a way only He could and we are going to be able to use it for a very reasonable price. It was so difficult to find a church that was large enough for our number of guests and that would allow non-members to use their facility. We are so thankful for the Lord's provision! It is exciting to move on to other planning projects now that we have the church secured and the date and time finalized.

Five Reads for Friday

1. "Courtship Stories" from Young Ladies Christian Fellowship (during my years of waiting on God to bring my future husband into my life I found so much encouragement from reading this multitude of diverse stories of God's faithfulness displayed in bringing together other couples)

2. "Given to Hospitality" from Dreaming of Days Gone By (series on hospitality with practical tips for being prepared to open your home to guests)

3. "On Divorce" from A Tranquil Heart (thoughts on a New York Times article regarding this past week's news of Al and Tipper Gore's divorce)

4. "Feminism: No Longer About Equality" from Ladies Against Feminism (excellent article)

5. Raising Homemakers (a brand new, exciting website of inspiration for women desiring to raise daughters that love home and family)

Farm News

I thought I would mention two of our farm-related opportunities for any interested readers from Richmond and the surrounding areas. More information can be found at the Avery's Branch Farms website.

This Saturday, June 5, is our first ever "How-To" Tour. It is for those interested in beginning a sustainable farm operation. Along with a tour of the farm, the Alexander family's personal testimony will be shared to encourage others interested in beginning family-based, debt-free, profitable farming ventures. Visit the farm's website for more information.

Copied from the farm website:

Avery's Branch Farms invites you to celebrate your wedding or special event at Richmond's only Sustainable Working Farm Venue.

In this environmentally friendly setting, you and your guests can embrace nature amidst the tranquil beauty of our natural farmland with rolling pastures and beautiful pond.

Allow nature to join you in a symphony of praise as you exchange vows to the mooing of cows, clucking of chickens, and quacking of the graceful pond ducks.

For those desiring an indoor venue, we offer the primitive barn on our century-old farm homestead.

Whether you choose straw bales for a truly rustic wedding or tables, chairs, linens, and glassware for a fancy event, our barn offers the perfect earth-friendly environment.

In this organic venue, your event will be full of laughter and merriment as you celebrate in a setting reminiscent of days gone by.

Your guests will leave this memory-filled day refreshed and renewed from the peacefulness of connecting with nature in this pastoral, inspiring setting.

Avery's Branch Farms is a wonderful venue for your Wedding Ceremony, Wedding Reception, Wedding Rehearsal Dinner, Banquet / Dinner, Private Party, Corporate Event, Meeting, Conference, Convention, Class, or Retreat.

~Contact us to schedule your memorable event at the area's only Sustainable Working Farm Venue~

Various Photos from the Past Few Days

Taken in the neighborhoods in which we maintain lots:

The Lands End PlantationI enjoyed laying out and reading on a sandy beach area while Elliott took his turn cutting lots:
I had to quickly finish bushhogging the lot across the street from this house because they were preparing for an outdoor wedding! I could feel the excitement as I later watched guests arrive in their fancy clothing:
On Sunday afternoon, I enjoyed reading on the pier in our neighborhood:

View of little Hertford from the bridge as the sun sets: