The Bittersweet End

My season as an at-home daughter has ended and a new season - one of a newlywed wife and homemaker - has begun. As most of you know, the driving focus of Striving to Serve at Home has been to encourage other young ladies as we strive together to cultivate a servant's heart - especially in our homes and among our families.

Over the months preceding the wedding, it was my intention to close my season of blogging upon the completion of the wedding entries, so the time has now come to wrap up the blog.

Since the inception of Striving to Serve at Home three and a half years ago, I have been incredibly blessed and encouraged by your comments and the dear friendships that have developed due to this blog. Not only has the Lord blessed me with some of my closest sisters in the Lord through blogging, He even used the means of this blog to cross my path with the path of my husband!

As the time has now come for me to step aside and pursue other endeavors, I would like to close by sharing three things I have learned through my blogging experience.


1. I have been reminded time and time again that it is of the utmost importance to prioritize our time with our precious families over time spent online. Anyone who uses the internet for any kind of social networking would attest to the fact that the internet and the blogging world can become very addicting. Maintaining a blog has required a lot of discipline in finding the proper balance and the wisest time management. I regret seasons where my focus was unbalanced and I was spending too much time in the internet world and not enough time in the real world. It was very important for me to realize when I needed to step away and reevaluate my focus.

2. When I first began the blog and installed a traffic feed, I would be amazed when my blog would receive ten visitors in a day... Ten people who cared enough about what was going on in my life to stop what they were doing, visit my site, and read my little thoughts! As the daily average grew to an average of roughly one thousand visitors per day, I quickly became aware that, while many read my entries and cheer me on in support, many others strongly disagree and devote message boards and forum threads to discussing their opinions in regard to my (and other bloggers') choices. This knowledge has served as an excellent tool in forcing humility, strengthening my convictions, and sharpening my realization that I can't live for man's applause, but rather should always first and foremost strive for God's approval. However, I would caution other young women, who may be interested in blogging, to realize that their audience extends far beyond likeminded family and friends and to share in such a way that even our blogs can be a testimony for Christ. I also think it is wise for us to take Philippians 4:8 into account, particularly considering those things that are true and above reproach, and although it can become tempting, to not allow ourselves to read and wallow in the gossip that others may be writing about us.

 3. Lastly, over the months following the announcement of my engagement to Stephen, I have heard of several sobering "internet love stories" that have been enthusiastically told while drawing parallels to my own story. I can't emphasize enough how dangerous "internet love stories" can be or how careful young women must be in this often neglected realm of great temptation. In conservative Christian circles, filters are purchased and passwords are often secured with the hope of protecting young men from the destruction of internet pornography. While this is commendable, it is rarely mentioned that vulnerable young women can easily become prey to internet predators and this can lead to equal devastation. I am not only alluding to some sixty year old man with a sick mind who is going to initiate an online relationship with a young woman and lure her into an unsafe environment. If you, as a young woman, keep a blog for long enough, you will very likely be approached by young men with varying motives. Stephen was not the only young man to contact me over the past years. Although some may have had honest, pure intentions, others were wolves in sheep's clothing. It is so very important to make your parents aware of the friendships you have with young men on the internet and to seek their guidance. While I believe that parental involvement is valuable in any courtship, I think courtships that begin online need this all the more.


While it is bittersweet to end this season of blogging as an at-home daughter, it is also very exciting for me to begin my next adventure alongside my wonderful husband. I am excited about the journey God has in store for us.

How can I even begin to thank you all for your kind comments and your sweet words of encouragement? They will certainly be greatly missed.

May we all glorify God by striving to serve those who He has placed in our lives and in our homes!



In His Service,

Meredith

My sweet husband and I as we celebrated my 23rd birthday on our honeymoon

The Wedding: The Reception



Arriving at my family's farm for the reception



We were immediately greeted by my sweet sister. Of all of the hundreds of wedding pictures, the one above is my absolute favorite.

I love her so much!

Our good family friend, Ty, announced us for the first time as a married couple at the reception.



We entered the main tent and sliced the wedding cheesecake. 



Altogether there were nearly thirty cheesecakes served as the wedding cake (most were pre-sliced, as pictured above).

Stephen's brother, Matt, gave a wonderful best man speech.

He shared many sweet memories from their childhood.

Listening to Matt's speech

Mama made tons of farmhouse cheddar cheese from our farm's milk to serve as an appetizer with crackers while guests waited for the meal.



Over a dozen young ladies kindly served during the reception.

A meal of barbeque, pulled pork (grown on the farm!), green beans, fried apples, potato salad, cole slaw, and rolls was served.



Prior to the wedding, I used my embroidery machine to monogram all of our servers' names on their aprons.

Sweet little girls on the tire swing

The homemade jam I prepared this past spring as wedding favors

A map of the activities available during the reception

 

 

 

 

      

The slide show was played in a barn set up as the "White Christmas Theater."

A Christmas tree was also set up in the room with ornaments for our guests to write on to leave messages for us.

 

The "Red Rooster Inn" (an old chicken barn) was used as an additional dining area.

Dancing was held in the barn's hay loft

Family and friends threw handfuls of rice at us as we ran to the getaway car.

We left a trail of rice everywhere we went over the next few days!

This concludes the wedding posts! As I look back on our special day now over a month later, I am left with a growing fondness for the precious memories made on our wedding day. We are so indebted to the families who served in so many ways in preparation for our wedding and during the wedding itself. We are so blessed by your friendship and willingness to help us!

Mama posted a detailed wedding budget at the family blog to encourage other mothers and daughters who may have weddings on the horizon. All photos are courtesy of Three Daughters and a Wedding Photography and Elizabeth's Photography.

The Last Journal Entry

Written by Mama (follow-up to "Saying Goodbye")
 

Dear Meredith,

It's that time of year when I write in all the children's books. I hope you don't mind just printing and pasting this last entry into your journal since I gave the book to you already. It was just too hard to write the final entry before you left.

My life-long dream for you came true just one month ago as you became a wife. What joy awaits you in this new season of your life! A husband to love, a place of your own, maybe children one day - this is the beginning of the finest years ever.

As we continue to be amazed at the wonderful husband God gave you, Daddy and I are at complete peace saying goodbye as we have assurance beyond a shadow of doubt that Stephen is God's choice for you. Stephen's desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord is surely his greatest defining characteristic and the one that brings us, as your parents, the greatest joy.

Remember how we used to wonder how and when and if God would send a husband for you? You were so focused on allowing God to write your story in His own way while you watched others around you marry and begin families. I admire the way you remained cheerful and busied yourself in serving your family during those waiting years.

I'll never forget the Sunday when you first told me about Stephen as we were driving together to deliver milk. Like a silly school girl I remember saying that you really needed Daddy's guidance because in my mind's eye, I could already visualize the wedding with you in your beautiful dress and "this Stephen guy" in his military uniform! I never imagined that my ramblings would one day become a reality.

Remember how exciting it was when he came to meet us and spend several days with our family? We wondered if Stephen would end up just being a new friend or if possibly he was "the one." I recently came across the pictures I was secretly taking from the upstairs windows of you two walking around the farm, talking to each other in person for the first time.

After Daddy and Stephen returned from one of several lengthy discussions during that first visit, and Daddy began telling me some of Stephen's answers to the 16 or 17 page typed questionnaire that Daddy had been using to guide their conversations, I could tell that a peace was settling over Daddy.

Eventually Daddy gave his blessing for Stephen to pursue courtship and marriage. I admire you for your humble attitude in asking another man - your dad - to assess a potential spouse. In the same way you would ask for Dad's opinion on real estate purchases, you did not hesitate to seek his wisdom in the area of choosing a mate. Only the strong subject themselves to the counsel of others. You, Meredith, are very strong indeed to have cut completely across the grain of society and defer to the wisdom of an older man in making such an important decision as to whom you might marry.

I am equally impressed by the way both you and Stephen began your relationship. I remember you had a list of the things that you wanted in a husband. Stephen shared with you what he wanted in a wife. Only once you were both sure those requirements would be met mutually did you allow yourselves to consider moving forward. How mature! How sensible. What an incredible foundation for your marriage.

A courtship turned into an engagement that quickly became a wedding date which turned the farm upside down!

This last year seemed to be almost completely focused on preparing for the wedding. Pages of projects needing to be completed were part of all our lives. What fun we had as we spent countless hours planning and dreaming and working to pull it all together!

A friend drew this picture of the farm as we dreamed it would look for the wedding.

We talked often about wanting the wedding day to be a blessing to others. I hope it was. It all felt like a such a flurry of activity that I barely remember any of the details. Once it was over and Oma and I began cleaning the house while Dad and the boys went out for milking, I missed you being here to talk about the memories that were made on the big wedding day that we had been planning for almost a year.

Even though we worked late into the night and were as tired as we've ever been, we sure were looking forward to you and Stephen stopping by Sunday afternoon on your way to your honeymoon destination. Although no one could have prepared us for how sad that short visit would be. It was as if Sheridan finally understood that you were really leaving and her little heart broke. When she held out her hands to you, begging you not to leave her, like a little child being left at a daycare center, we all cried.

Although Sheridan never comes downstairs after being tucked in at night, we weren't surprised when she tiptoed down the steps to our room at 1am. Rather than worry about fostering what might become a bad habit, Daddy and I just pulled her up in bed between us, knowing that she was missing you sleeping next to her.

Poor Dad missed you so badly that he went around the house choked up and with red eyes the Monday after the wedding and only muttered phrases like, "Meredith lived with us more than half of my life," or "She was with us for almost our entire marriage."

God was so gracious to hold off the snow until the day after the wedding.

Harrison said that he heard one of your favorite Christmas songs playing in the barn as he was going to feed the calves and thought he'd have to stop riding his bike for a minute because he felt so sad.

You'd be glad to know that as much trouble as he always gave you as his chore supervisor, he now is singing your praises and wishing you'd return to your position instead of his new demanding chore captain (me)!

I suppose everyone is shifting into their new positions to fill the gap you left behind. Elliott, knowing how much it means to me to see our friends' Christmas photos on the fridge, put them up as they arrived in the mail, just like you used to do. On a recent drive to Denny's for the free weekly meals we won, I asked everyone what they missed most about you being gone as our drive-time topic of discussion. Elliott quickly said, "Meredith's bread!" I'm sure you'd be as surprised as I was when Daddy and I were gone for a while the other day and returned home to find two freshly baked loaves of bread that Elliott made!

Filling your position has been a real challenge for me as the demands of the farm remain constant. The last day of chicken processing for the season was the worst as I rushed around the house trying to prepare lunch before heading outside to help that morning with the chickens - knowing we'd be coming in late, tired, and hungry hours later. On the kitchen counters were still bags of the non-perishable groceries from the late night trip to the store the night before. Then, as if it were some type of endurance test, the boys brought in four cases of milk jars needing washing and several weeks' worth of dirty cow towels. Whew! Somehow it all got done though.

Christmas was, of course, very different without you here but we were filled with joy as we began hearing about the fun, new life you were living as a newlywed. Stephen's family was so very kind to you over Christmas that we could only be happy for you to be loved by a whole new family.

Friends from all over, who knew what a treasure you were in our home, have sent us the kindest notes and have said they were praying for us during the transition time.

Alison Wilson so thoughtfully gave this to me to remember the love that a mother and daughter share.

Sheridan is slowly adjusting to sleeping alone and has found many new friends to surround her at bedtime. You can't imagine how long it takes us to get all these babies tucked in. Only Sheridan knows where each one prefers to sleep each night.

Sheridan would be disappointed to know that one of her baby's covers (far right) has come off during the night.

I suppose the transition of you being gone has been harder than we imagined because you were such a good friend to all of us. You've cheered us on when we were discouraged and you've chosen to see the better side in each of us. Rather than pursuing ventures that would have enabled greater self-advancement and independence like outside employment, on-campus college courses, and social networking, you chose to serve your family instead. You prepared meals, taught Bible verses to little ones, washed laundry, delivered milk, bushhogged lots, and countless other tasks. What a gift you were to our family!

So now I write the last page of the journal that was started for you when I was but a teenager hoping to one day be a wife and a mother. What a wonderful journey this has been. How blessed I am to have had you to spend my days with. How incredibly content I am to see you securely placed into the hands of such a fine man as Stephen. What joy I have as your mother to know that you will be cared for by a man with such outstanding character and with a strong desire to follow God. The two of you, who you are and who you're becoming, represent hope for a brighter world. May God do mighty things in your life as a couple surrendered and committed to doing His will. We, as your family, will enjoy seeing you both live happily ever after.

I love you, Meredith!

Your happy Mama